Love yourself: thought for Valentine’s
The most important relationship you have in life – as the truism goes - is the one you have with yourself. Loving yourself isn’t narcissism or arrogance. Self-love is about taking responsibility for your own mental, physical, and spiritual well-being. It’s secure and ‘healthy selfish’. And it allows you to love others fully. Narcissism is the opposite of this: insecure, unhealthily self-obsessed and leaves you unable to love anyone else. There’s nothing wrong and EVERYTHING right with loving yourself.
Here’s some questions to ask to check your relationship with yourself:
How do you talk to yourself?
If you have a harsh inner critic you may need to practise self-compassion. Think about the voice in your head when you are having a tough time or make a mistake. What if you responded to yourself in the same way you talk to a close friend when they are going through a difficult moment?
What makes you special?
Many of us are keenly aware of our weaknesses, but struggle to identify our unique qualities, strengths and natural talents. Listen to compliments rather than brushing them off - they can give you a new appreciation for traits you previously undervalued or did not even see in yourself.
What are you proud of?
To counteract a tendency to self-criticism think more about what you are proud of in your life. For my clients who do not have enough self-worth repeatedly asking this question can create a real shift. Try making it a regular practice at the end of each day.
What do you want?
Loving yourself is taking a stand for what you truly want for yourself in life. No-one else will do this for you. Identifying what you want is the starting point to having better boundaries (that is, saying no to what you don’t want), telling others what you want and bit by bit getting more of it. Too much people pleasing and looking after everyone else’s wants and needs will leave you depleted and resentful.
What's one thing you could do more of to strengthen your relationship with yourself?
