How to overcome over-functioning

6 signs you may be over-functioning

Maybe you have a bit of workaholic streak? You are someone who only feels satisfied when you are succeeding? You are very into goals and plans and find it hard just 'to be'?

I am a recovering hyperachiever and so are many of the people I work with.Like the ones who have set up their own amazing and recognised restaurants. Up to a point it's a good thing, part of what got us where we are.

But taken too far and achieving creates problems. Hyper-achieving leads to overfunctioning - doing more than is healthy. This can show up in work and out of work. You can't step back from things, you don't ask others to step up and support you. You feel trapped by your role - as if it all depends on you. And caught in a cycle of achieving but never stopping to celebrate where you are now. Or relax.

If this sounds like you here are 4 things to try:

STOP AND WATCH This week commit to stop doing it all, and watch how that feels. This will be a challenge. My request is that you try it, just for 7 days and notice what you learn.

CONFRONT FEARS What do you most fear will happen if you stop achieving at this level? Bring this fear into your awareness and talk back to it.

ASK FOR HELP "Never do for others what they can do for themselves." When we overdo for others, we rob them - our children, romantic partners, or colleagues, - of precious opportunities to directly experience their own competence.

CHOOSE A NEW PRIORITY Is all this achieving bringing any peace, joy, or fulfilment at all? Perhaps the answer is yes up to a point. And no when it goes too far. This month, make joy, creativity, fulfilment, well-being (or something else inspiring to you) your measure of success, and observe how you operate differently in doing so.