How to avoid communication breakdowns

Communication breakdowns happen. This model from Dr Faith Harper is a nice framework for understanding how.

Everything we communicate operates on 4 levels

1.What we mean to say – the actual idea we are trying to express
2. What we actually say – the words we choose, what we have in our minds and what comes out of our mouths is not always a solid match!
3. What the other person hears – just because you said it, doesn’t mean they heard it without any filter
4. What the other person thinks you mean – for example a hidden agenda they read into what you are saying

Tips
Get clear on your idea – what is the one key thing you want to express
Use your words – make sure they match your idea, say what you mean to say?
Check back - ask people what they’ve understood
Watch out for assumptions – watch out for when you are mind-reading, make sure you are not over-interpreting what people say

How to Unf*ck Your Boundaries by Faith Harper is a good book if you want to explore boundaries and how to set them.

What is something you want to say? What's stopping you?