Buddhism for leaders

Want to get better at responding to difficult stuff? Put down that second arrow…

The metaphor of the second arrow is a Buddhist parable about dealing with suffering more skilfully. The Buddhists say that any time we suffer misfortune, two arrows fly our way.

The first arrow is a difficult event, which can cause pain. A setback, a mistake, a heartbreak, an accident. Think of it as the stressor. The first arrow is often out of our control.

The second arrow represents how we view and react to the event. Think of it as the stress response. It may cause more pain for example if it involves anger, self-blame, harsh judgment or negative self-talk. This arrow is in our control.

The solution? Work on your awareness. Learn to separate the stressor from the stress response. Catch yourself adding second arrows - adding more pain and suffering. Put that second arrow down! Instead of beating yourself up, build yourself up by positive self-talk and being kind to yourself.